My approach to life is “Be pro-active!” as much as you can.
During the “Days of Corona” I would humbly suggest to think about 2 things:
What after? ( I will talk about that in my next post)
It’s good to have a plan in case someone from your household will be taken to the hospital.
It might be the whole family will get sick…
Or parents only…
Or a child (and one parent)
Or the person with a disability
Or a grandparent
Take time and make a plan while you can still think calmly.
When/if it happens we all tend to panic.
We can’t think clearly. It’s all “smoggy.”
We run like a rabbit, doing something rashly, not necessarily helping in that situation.
It might scary children. And could be very traumatic for each participant. Healthy and sick.
Think about each scenario and make a plan for each kind. While you still can.
Let’s say – both parents get sick and need to be hospitalized.
Decide as parents where do you want your children to go?
Who is this relative? Friend? Neighbor (if it happens at night for example)?
When you decide, call them… Skype them… Zoom them.
Before you do that, ask them certain questions in written form, so they will have time and space to make their decision and not be “caught” on the spot.
If they agree, then schedule a conversation with them.
If they don’t – it’s not a time to “hold grudges” against them.
Remember – it’s an extraordinary situation and you might mot have an idea what they are dealing with and why they tell you “no.”
Don’t judge. You will need strength for other things.
Ask them with hands that hold this “loosely.” Be gracious and merciful in your request.
When you find that person (people, family) – talk with your children about that.
Don’t scare them. Find a way to involve them in that “reparation” in a positive way.
By the way, when you consider who to turn to, please take into consideration the fact that your children (if possible) need to know these people (preferably) and hopefully like them and feel comfortable around them.
Again, there might be not ideal a place or person, but try to find the best you can. And to be satisfied with the “less perfect” option.
Involve children with “packing” their things in case they will need to move to these people.
Make this task as cheerful as you can… as calm as it can be… as positive and wise as only could be.
Instruct them to not take too much things, just necessary things, and things that will comfort them while you will be getting better.
Stress the point that you hope (and will be praying) that it won’t be for too long.
Be truthful and yet optimistic when you talk with your children about what can happen.
Don’t promise them things that are not in under your control. (For example – “Everything will be ok!”)
Don’t promise them things that you don’t know. (For example how long it might take for you to return home.)
Do tell them that you will do everything that is in your control to get better and come back home.
Pack your own “small bag” in case of the “what if.”
Think through what you might need there if that will take a few weeks to get better.
It might be personal hygiene products (brush and toothpaste), a telephone and charger, only crucial and basic things you might need.
When we pack a suitcase for vacation we find out (when it’s too late) that 90% of the things we didn’t need.
How much more this is true about days in a hospital!
We’ve been “chained to the hospital bed” for almost an year (when our son was fighting cancer) and we know how few things you really need there. But those very few you really needed!…
So, when everything is still ok and you are calm, think through and make decisions about what you REALLY need.
Remember that when you really don’t feel well you need and want even fewer things.
As often, you can’t do things (which you usually like) when you are not well.
You know yourself quite well. You may have been sick, very sick in the past. Go there and remember what you needed to make it though.
Now, let’s say only one parent is taken to the hospital.
Talk with your spouse (parent, friend, sister or brother – if you are single) of what you want them to know, to do or not to do in that case.
Be explicit as much as you can: how often to call you; what calms you and what not; what encourages you and what not; do you want them to send you links, songs, voice messages, text messages, pictures, etc…
You might not know – then it’s a good exercise to do, to learn about your self-awareness .
It might change when you (God forbid) find your self in that situation.
You can always go back and edit it.
Let’s say your child needs to be hospitalized.
Sit and talk – who will be the parent that assists the child and
who will stay home to take care of the other children.
Be real, be loving, listen to each other, don’t fight, don’t accuse.
You are “the cabinet” in under war conditions – there is no time for offenses, fights and mocking.
It’s your time to make wise, gracious and life-saving decisions.
You fight for your family.
Let’s say you have a person with disabilities that needs to be hospitalized.
With the all above-mentioned tips, add one more task – figure out your and his (hers) rights.
Will you be allowed to accompany that person?
Pack a bag for them.
In that case you will need to make decisions for them.
If you can’t accompany them and be there with them in the hospital, write a short “manual” in which you describe what helps them to communicate (of course send with them their tool of communication! what ever it is), what they like, what calms them down, what they like to eat, what music they like, what movies they prefer, etc…
If you can’t save their lives, at least you will wisely do ALL you can and know to make it endurable.
Do very similar things for your elderly parent/parents.
Especially if they suffer from some stage of dementia.
But even if not help them think through this “possibility” as I offered above.
Not to scare them, but to be prepared, while they still can…
Your calmness and optimism will be the secret which can’t be underestimated!!!
And after you finish these preparations, pray and hope you will need none of them!
That’s my prayer for you…
5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
“Share” it. Many people might need to hear that…
From “Corona era diary” Day # 10