Better to live in the garage!

A good and happy marriage is a tremendous gift from God. I thank God every day for my wife and my marriage. In a good marriage, a man’s wife brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

The Bible advises men, “Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life … because that is your portion in life” (Ecclesiastes 9:9). In other words, God has given us a simple recipe for a happy life:

A man should enjoy life with the wife he loves. Nothing in life can be more satisfying than full and happy days with the woman you love.

To the same proportion that a marriage has the potential to bring blessing, goodness, and fulfillment, however, it also has the potential to bring curse and misery. The Bible says that an unhappy wife tears her home down with her own hands (Proverbs 14:1). The Bible says, “A wife’s quarreling is a continual dripping of rain” (Proverbs 19:13), which means that it seems as though her complaints and affronts never cease. The Bible says, “It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife” (Proverbs 25:24), a saying that is the ancient equivalent of, “Better to live in the garage than under the same roof with that woman.”

Our new book, Adam Loves Eve, was written to fix that problem. We don’t want anyone to have to live in a garage or on the corner of a roof. We wrote this book for men only—specifically disciples of Yeshua, especially if they are married men, and especially if they are finding marriage to be perplexing and more difficult than they expected. Adam Loves Eve is a book about how God’s instructions in the Bible can make a man’s marriage better.

I’m not a marriage counselor or family therapist. Adam Loves Eve is not built on any particular theory of marriage or family counseling. This book does not offer counsel; it offers the Bible’s perspective on how to be a better husband and obtain a better marriage.

Before getting married, most men think that marriage will be easy. The man assumes that if he finds the right woman, he will be an excellent husband. She will love him; he will love her. What could be simpler? The Bible teaches a different message. The Bible commands men to love their wives as the Messiah loves his people:

Husbands, love your wives, as the Messiah loved the Assembly and gave himself up for her. (Ephesians 5:25)

This verse from Paul’s letter to the Ephesians means that, according to the Bible, a man must crucify himself, so to speak, for the sake of his bride. That’s how the Messiah loved the assembly of his people.

If you are happily married, you might not understand Paul’s picture, but if you are struggling in a distressed marriage, you might identify with the metaphor a little too readily. Husbands enduring unhappy marriages might think crucifixion preferable to the torment of an abrasive home life. This is a book about how you can carry out the Bible’s instruction to “love your wife just as the Messiah loved the assembly and gave himself up for her”:

Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them. (Colossians 3:19)

If you agree to prayerfully read and study this book and implement its teachings into your marriage, the state of your marriage will improve. Happy marriages will become happier. Unhappy marriages will become happy marriages. Men in really difficult marriages will feel as if they have moved from the torment of crucifixion to the bliss of the resurrection. Even if you think your marriage is dead and almost over, there is still hope for you and your wife. With God’s help, your marriage may even come back from the dead, and you and your wife will experience the bliss of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. It all starts with reading this book—the whole thing. If you are a married man and a disciple of Yeshua, do your wife a favor, and get a copy of this book. You’ll be doing yourself a favor, too. After all, who wants to live in the garage?

This article originally appeared on First Fruits of Zion, September 15, 2017, and reposted with permission.