I’ve always identified as Jewish.
My mother was born into an Ashkenazi Orthodox Jewish family. My father was a Sephardic Jew.
I qualify by Sephardic standards; my mother is Jewish therefore I am Jewish.
I had my bat mitzvah.
I went to Hebrew School.
My mom was even a Hebrew School teacher.
I don’t eat pork, shellfish, or cheeseburgers. I may not be Glatt kosher- but I’m more kosher than most of the bacon cheeseburger and shrimp fried rice eating Jews I know.
Being Jewish already singles me out as different from the rest of the population. Within the Jewish religion many different branches exists.
I am part of a minority group within a religion that is already a minority.
The three main subgroups are Orthodox, Conservative and Reform. Within these are different sects and classifications such as Hassidic and Sephardic. All of these groups have similarities and differences.The classification I belong to is a much smaller group called Messianic Judaism.
What is Messianic Judaism?
I’m a Jew that believes in Jesus, although I call him Yeshua as there are no J’s in Hebrew (Most dialects). I pray in Hebrew, I celebrate the Sabbath on Saturdays, I celebrate all Jewish Holidays, I fast on Yom Kippur, and I’ve attended a synagogue for most of my life. The only difference is in mainstream Judaism they pray for their Messiah to come. I pray for mine to return. To be a Messianic Jew is comparable to being the black sheep of the family. You’re labeled a traitor, deemed a disappointment, and rejected by the majority of mainstream Judaism.
Taglit-Birthright Israel is a non-profit organization that takes Jewish people (you only have to be a quarter Jewish) for a tour to discover Israel. My family that is half-Jewish half-Catholic was accepted. People who have never stepped foot into a synagogue are allowed to go, but I was rejected with the following e-mail:
Birthright Israel provides the gift of a first time, peer group, educational trip to Israel for Jewish young adults ages 18 to 26. You must meet ALL 3 of these criteria to be eligible for a program:
1) You are 18 – 26 years of age;
2) You are Jewish;
3) You have not previously visited Israel on a peer group/educational experience or have not studied in Israel after the age of 18.
Birthright Israel has reviewed your application and determined that you are not eligible. You are considered ineligible for any of the following reasons:
– Your birthday is before May 1, 1989;
– You will not be 18 years of age by the departure date of the trip you applied for;
– You will not finish high school by the departure date of the trip;
– You are a student in an exclusively Jewish studies program;
– Responses on your application indicate that you do not meet the criteria for Jewish eligibility;
– You have already been on a Birthright Israel trip;
– You have spent approximately 3 months or more in Israel;
– You have been to Israel since you were 18 years of age or older to attend an Israel program or University or Yeshiva; to Serve or Volunteer on an Israeli Army Base or in another context which has been reviewed by Birthright Israel and considered to be a prior Israel experience.
– Some responses in your application need clarification and you have not yet responded to the email we have sent you.
If you have any questions, require further clarification, or feel that a mistake has been made, please email us at [email protected].
Sincerely,
Kara Kastan
Information and Registration Manager
Birthright Israel
Naturally, being that all I’ve ever know was Jewish culture and Judaism I was confused. I responded by answering their list of criteria-
Follow up:
– Your birthday is before May 1, 1989; – Born in 1991
– You will not be 18 years of age by the departure date of the trip you applied for; I will be
– You will not finish high school by the departure date of the trip; I have
– You are a student in an exclusively Jewish studies program; I am not
– Responses on your application indicate that you do not meet the criteria for Jewish eligibility; My father came from an orthodox Jewish family as did my mother. My mother converted to Messianic Judaism, which is still a branch of Judaism.
– You have already been on a Birthright Israel trip; I have not
– You have spent approximately 3 months or more in Israel; I have never been
– You have been to Israel since you were 18 years of age or older to attend an Israel program or University or Yeshiva; to Serve or Volunteer on an Israeli Army Base or in another context which has been reviewed by Birthright Israel and considered to be a prior Israel experience. Never been to Israel, or an Israeli Army Base. I have not
– Some responses in your application need clarification and you have not yet responded to the email we have sent you. Did not receive an email.
I had been used to elitist Jewish rejection. One of my aunts gave my mom a rosary she found at their parent’s house because she thought it was hers (Catholicism and Messianic Judaism are not even close). Distant relatives say things in a tone dripping with judgement like “Is your mom still doing that Jews for Jesus thing?” (FYI Jews for Jesus is an organization I am not affiliated with, this would be equivalent to calling every Christian you met a Mormon).
People constantly go- but wait, if you believe in Jesus you’re not Jewish.
Umm, sorry, no it doesn’t work that way.
Birthright responded with the following:
An agreed upon formula?
You’ll have to excuse me as I hadn’t realized it was simple mathematics. I tried to solve the problem analytically. I wrote out a mathmatical equation.
“Two Jewish parents + attending synagogue + reading Hebrew alphabet minus unclean food + celebrating Jewish holidays and culture.” Like so- (2 JP + Sy + RH – UF+ CHC)
Apparently when you add in M (Messianic Judaism) it negates any value carried by the other variables, similar to multiplying something by 0. M(2 JP + Sy + RH – UF+ CHC)= Not Jewish
Who knew you could mathematically determine religion?
So they called me a Christian. Not that I find anything wrong with Christianity- it’s just not who I am. I don’t celebrate Christian holidays. I celebrate Jewish holidays. I don’t go to church on Sundays. I don’t work on Shabbat. I don’t wear crosses or pray the prayers they do. I have a mezuzah necklace, a chai, and a Jewish star.
I love Christians, and the majority of my friends are Christians who by the way have never rejected my faith. Nor have any of my Muslim friends. My Catholic, Buddhist, Atheist, and Agnostic friends all accept me for who I am. I’m just not at home in a church. I wish I was, maybe then my life would be easier. My heart belongs in Jewish culture and as an integrated member of Jewish society.
They told me I wasn’t Jewish. They’re basically saying- “Jewish people don’t accept you. You are not one of us, we don’t want you. Go play with the Christians where you belong.” Who are they to tell me my “Jewishness” standards aren’t high enough? Who are they to ostracize me for my beliefs? Especially with the pain, past, and current struggles of the Jewish people! The Jewish community knows very well the pain of being shunned. My family fled European countries to escape the Holocaust. Some of them wound up in concentration camps. Some escaped with their lives. My family left Yemen to enter Israel to flee from persecution.
Has history not taught us over and over again the lesson that we are a persecuted people? Why would we not stick together and support each other’? My beliefs are different, but are we not all one people? We come from the same lineage. Our ancestry is one.
My only desire was to go on Birthright and explore the place I consider my home. I would have extended my trip to see my father’s grave for the first time. He died this past August before I’d gotten the chance to really know him. I couldn’t go to his funeral because I didn’t have $1600.00 for the ticket, let alone money for living expenses. The year before my grandmother passed before I could meet her. I wanted to see my roots, where I came from, know who I am and who my family is. America never quite felt like home. Israel has always had my heart, regardless of my nationality.
Instead of an opportunity, all I was left with was a broken heart. I know the God the Jewish people believe in, for I pray to Him too. I refuse to deny my faith, and God will honor me for that. My beliefs are a part of me. It’s who I am, and I would not betray that or myself for anyone. At this point, I’d rather go on my own terms rather than with an organization run with an elitist mentality.
I am Jewish, regardless of what anyone has to say about it. I do not discriminate. I do not believe in judging others based on their beliefs or religion. I know who I am; it’s time for you to remember who you are.
Please, stop making the mistakes of the past. Learn from history before it repeats itself. Persecution begets destruction and we cannot afford to lose anymore Jewish culture or people.
“When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.
When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.
When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.
When they came for the Jews,
I remained silent;
I wasn’t a Jew.
When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.”
-Martin Niemöller