Journey of Faith: Reflections of a Young Israeli Messianic Woman

When I was 14 and made a decision to follow Yeshua, I also started wondering what was the most I could do with my life, to return love to God. The gospel- the cross, the blood, the resurrection are things I took seriously and simply. I wanted to live a life of complete devotion to God, to passionately love Him, and serve in places where others turn their eyes. What I didn’t know when I was 14 and started my relationship with God, 18 and dreaming of Africa, but forced to enroll in the IDF, and 22 when my heart was desperately crying out for abused kids, was the price, and the process.

It was said by A.W. Tozer that “God never uses anyone greatly until He tests them deeply”. In my passion for God and people I just kept saying ‘yes’ all the way, all the time, but God in His love had to (and is very much still) refine me with fire. Abraham, the father not only of Israel but of all nations went through the greatest test probably known to a father. After waiting years for this promised son, God tells him to sacrifice him?! That must be some demon lying to Abraham? But he knew God’s voice, and he obeyed and “rose early in the morning… and went to the place of which God had told him.”(Genesis 22). This act of surrender speaks volumes of Abraham’s complete trust in God’s goodness. And his trust speaks of his incredible faith.

“By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises offered up his only begotten son, of whom it was said ‘in Isaac your seed shall be called’, concluding that God was able to raise him up, even from the dead, from which he also received him in a figurative way” (Heb 11:17-19).

In his surrender, in his trust, in his faith, he received the promise.

One early morning a few weeks ago I found myself awake and saw this brief vision. I saw myself as sand, going to and fro with the wind, being scattered all over. I was everything but “a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). Then I saw the hand of God reach down to earth and plant me in the ground. The plant was tiny and pathetic, but it would for sure take root with the care, intent, time and patience of God. Trust, like the plant, can not be rushed in the growing process. It has to yield to it.. long as it may be.

One of the reasons I believe trust is so key in our faith in God, is because it’s not enough to believe that He exists. We have to also trust that He is on our side, wanting to do and give us the absolute best. Or in the words of the scripture “without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him (Heb 11:6).

Sometimes it’s easier for me to entertain fear than trust that God is good. I was recently reminded that fear is actually a sin (for one example Revelations 21:8, fear listed with all other sins) and understood that sometimes I just have to stop all the thoughts in my head, make a conscious decision to break agreement with fear and remind myself of God’s character. God is good and does good (Psalm 119:68), He is “merciful and gracious, long-suffering, and abounding in goodness and truth..” (Exodus 34:6-7).